Faffing about

I've removed The Armstrongs link as: (a) the show has finished and I've lost interest (b) he doesn't stop talking about one specific rock band, and (c) swearing constantly is only so amusing. :-)

I've also added a byline to the Blog title. Jason (and Serena on the Ayers Family Blog) have done it and snazzy it looks too. There is no escape from the Glass Box. See first ever entry for explanation - if you're bothered, that is...

Specsavers... we have a problem

Went to the opticians today. Kind of a saga in itself. Part of my contact lens deal is that I have a contact lens check very so often, and a proper sight test every two years or so. In the past month, I've started to get very *aggressive* letters from Specsavers to let me know that: (a) a sight test is needed; and (b) that unless I go, they'll stop sending me contact lenses. Now, me being me, I filed those letters under "must sort out" and promptly forgot every day when I left the house - only remembering again that evening that it still needed sorting. Anyhow, after much faffing, and three separate cancellations due to other commitments, I actually went today.

Sight test was great. Men "my age" tend to have very stable eyesight, said bloke A. And he was right, it hadn't changed at all in three years. But the contact lens check (they made me stay - hanging around in Starbucks next door for 30mins - for one of those as well) was a bit trickier. Turns out that my left eye isn't getting enough oxygen. I was sensing something was up when he was tutting away as he held my eyelid up - I kid you not - with a bladed stick thing and tutted. Not one for the squeamish - and I can be quite squeamish about other people sticking their fingers in my eye. Then Bloke B said "we've got a problem" and went on to explain "some bits aren't doing as well as they might be". **Some bits?** Eh? Who's the normal clientale for this place? (Don't answer! lol). Still, long story short. It's back to the glasses for a bit while they send off for contact lenses made from a different material. No real harm, no real foul. Just a now-too-conscious awareness that my eye feels funny. That's my mind playing tricks with me. Over-attentuation sucks. :-)

Mmmm... Cheesecake

Some of you will know that World of Warcraft remains my computer game of choice. Oblivion is nice, but until the next patch comes out, I'll be giving it a miss. Now, World of Warcraft (WoW as it is known) is an online game - one you play online with others scattered throughout the world. As such, Alex - with a most persuasive campaign - weaned me gradually away from Guild Wars. My GW characters were Caffeine King and Cheesecake (coffee and cheesecake being two of my most favourite things). Caffeine King is the man for the aggressive hitting of things, and Cheesecake is for those soothing, healing moments. You can spot the logic there, right? On WoW, it was natural to keep these names, and being a priest (a healing type of character) is the most fun - for me. (Besides the game's character creation didn't like the CK brand). So, Cheesecake is my "main" - the character I play with the most. Though I've a Battenburg, a Kendlemint and a Flapjack in there too ;-) Cheesecake has just hit 60th level. This is a *good thing*. Only took four or five months(!) I am proud of my pointless endeavour in a computer generated game world that does not exist. lol. As such, ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure: Cheesecake righting wrongs in the depths of the "Sunken Temple". (Ooh, creepy).

Greasy Chip Butties

Hmmm... to my horror (see his Blog), Jason is swinging towards Chelsea FC. Time perhaps to redeclare to the world - sorry Eddie - that if I have to pick a football team of my own, it has to be Sheffield United. All together now (to theme of Annie's Song):



You fill up my senses
Like a gallon of Magnet
Like a packet of Woodbine
Like a good pinch of snuff
Like a night out in Sheffield
Like a greasy chip butty
Like Sheffield United
Come thrill me again....
Na Na Naa Naa Naa Naaa Naaaaa, ooo!

And now an explanation for those from foreign climes - i.e. Down South. ;-)

To a native of Sheffield the words are probably self-explanatory; the words celebrate the many pleasures that can be had in Sheffield, culminating in the target of the fan's adoration, Sheffield United. Magnet is a beer brewed near Sheffield. Some people claim that the second line is really, Like a gallon of maggots. Maggots would not be unreasonable, as fishing is popular in the region and hence a gallon of maggots would mean a good day out fishing. Woodbine refers nostalgically to a once popular brand of cigarette. Snuff is ground tobacco for sniffing up the nose.

A Greasy chip butty can be purchased in any of the many fish and chip shops. Butty is a slang word for sandwich, so a chip butty is simply a sandwich where the filling is chips, ideally greasy and sprinkled with salt and vinegar. Generally, a white sandwich bap will be used for the bread. In Sheffield, these are known as "Breadcakes".

Broadband worth paying for

Some of you may have noticed the offer by Carphone Warehouse to provide free broadband access if you take up their telephone packages. Well, here's the response. Big full-page advertisement by BT in the papers today crowing that (BT) Broadband is worth paying for. I've noticed the line:

"Our Broadband is available to 99.6% of the population".

Well, I live in Hull. Which is the other 0.4% of the population. Damn you Kingston Communications!! And damn you fore-sighted Hull elders for setting up your own, independant telephone company in the early 1900s!! *shakes fist*

York

I'm off home to York this evening to see the parents. Then to see Sally (Huddersfield) Saturday/Sunday. I have a program on my PC called webshots (www.webshots.com) that allows you to download impressive photos for your PC wallpapers daily. I decided to have a look for ones of York Minster - since I was only up there with Sally the other week - and found this one.



Suddenly had a huge pang of homesickness. Funny really, I've lived in Hull for six years, but *this* is home.

Easter has been and gone

I've never really understood Easter. I mean, what a mish-mash of religion and pagan-babble? Let's be fair, Spring is a wonderful time. Things that have died come alive again. The world of around us bursts forth with life. And so on and such guff. As such, various faiths from all of history have thought the time around Easter to be pretty darn special (especially if you had to spend Winter in a cave or some sort of mud hut). Lots of Gods, Goddesses and so on to give thanks to. Cunning old Christians thought to tack Easter onto pagan festivals to Oeastre (or whoever she was) to start the ball rolling with lots of christian converts who could keep their holidays, but it's come around to bite them in this day and age...

Shops that should know better are full of Easter tat. Easter bunnies, chocolate eggs. Add in the fact that we get Friday-Monday off (treating Friday and Monday like a Sunday) and no-one knows where they are. I mean, I know it's a Tuesday, but it feels like a Monday. And I had no idea what the date was until I booted up the office PC this morning. Chaos. Total bodyclock chaos!! lol.

Spring mode

It's raining, it's horrible outside, and do you know why? It's because I've gone into "Spring mode". Yep, it's that time of year when the weather gets confusing. Rain. Sun. Rain. Sun. More rain. So much so, that I can't work out in the morning - it's hard at 8am - what the weather will be like. So I've decided that it's time to switch over to the lighter jacket, come what may.

As such, it's been raining three days straight. Sorry everyone, all my fault.

The Armstrongs (BBC2)

Can I point out my shiny new link to The Armstrongs Blog? -->

"The Armstrongs" are the stars of a programme on BBC2 straight after "The Apprentice" on Wednesday evenings (so that's 10pm). I love this show. It's the continuing, toe-curling saga of a couple as they docu-soap their way through life as the owners of U-Fit, the 3rd largest double-glazing company in Coventry. Apologies in advance for the language... lol.

Easter is coming...

Oh, and Sally sent me this earlier. Pure class.

Oblivion and beyond

As you'll be able to see from my companion Blog (Jason), he's having a whale of a time with Oblivion (PC). I'll have to admit it's a very good game - though it needs patching as it's about as stable as Angelina Jolie - and while I like to end the non-pub days with a spot of baddie-bashing, I'm glad to report that I may actually be turning the corner in the world of work too.

Writing this Blog seems to correlate while the the amount of work I'm doing, and to be quite honest, it's been a bit of a struggle to stay motivated these last few weeks. In fact, it was probably writer's block. Which is a problem when you're trying to get some writing done. I've a ton of marking on my desk, but four weeks (nearer three) in which to do it. No worries there then. Just the paper. But for once dear readers, I'm actually getting a grip on it. Almost forgot lunch earlier - my main meal of the day as some of you will know. Back from lunch now, and getting back to the writing.

Jackson, Coyne and Clough (2006): here we come.

Calmer waters - unless you're Dave

I feel much better today. All the hassles of the weekend are gone, replaced by a fascination of the media storm surrounding Dave. I'd best explain it. Unlike me, Dave decided to put together a poster to present down at the BPS conference in Cardiff. He gives good poster does Dave - and lavished an awful lot of time on this one. The BPS press office chose it as one to release in their press blurb and since then. he's been on local radio, Irish radio, in the papers and now Look North. Or at least, he was at breakfast time and lunchtime - and now, he's been persuaded into the Hull studio to do a pre-recorded sofa piece for tonight's programme. 6.30pm tonight (Tuesday) if you're in the Yorkshire/Lincolnshire region. Nice one, mate. It was weird though. I went along to last night's shoot. Took an hour, with one woman doing all the camerawork, questions, everything. Well, everything save turning the microphone on... They had to repeat everything!! Since Dave's stuff is Sports Psychology, they wanted shots in the gym. So behind Dave, a few students were lined up to lift some heavy weights as a backdrop. *heavy* weights. Then they had to do it all again. lol. I felt so sorry for them, they were knackered.

Hell on Wheels

Urgh!

What a last few days. I was down in Cardiff at the end of last week for the British Psychology Society (BPS) Conference - you may all have noticed a few psychology research articles getting into the papers? Including Dave, my office/house mate. He got onto the radio, and into The Sun. If the BPS decide to include your poster in the press release, then next stop: Look North!! I'm not kidding, they're sending a cameraman over for him. Well done, that man. :-)

But it did all involve a lot of traveling. I tried to make it better by going over to Huddersfield to stay at Sally's the night before I was heading down, so that meant 1.40hrs. Then to Cardiff the next day via Manchester, Birmingham and Bristol (5hrs). Coming back on the Saturday (5hrs). Back to Hull late on Sunday should have been 1.40hrs but I didn't count on engineering works on Sunday evening. I had to get a *bus* to Dewsbury. Got off at the station. Nothing there. No-one. Just a sign saying there were no trains running through the station at all. Went back to the bus, turned out it was going on to Leeds and I shouldn't have got off it in the first place (but no-one told me). God only knows what would have happened if it had driven off while I was wandering around at empty station. I mean Dewsbury?? But got back on, and got to Leeds too late for the Hull train. Next one? Two hours wait, leaving at 22.30pm and getting into Hull midnight. NOT ACCEPTABLE. Not knowing anything - as it was Sunday and all the customer help kiosks were *shut* - I jumped on the 8.45pm to York, looking for other options. Thankfully, Sally checked ahead online and was able to text me - just before the batteries went! - that a 21.41 to Hull (no changes) existed and I caught that - took one more hour - and then got a taxi home. Buitching to the driver as we went. By the time I got home, I was *niggled*. A 1.40hr train journey took four stops, the best part of four hours, and ensured that over the last week, I've spent a good twenty hours on the train, waiting for a train, sat on a bus replacement for a train. and so on.

I had a hospital appointment tomorrow morning - in York - at 9.15am. Bollocks to that. I'm not moving this week, I'm not bloody going anywhere in the next few days. They can get stuffed!! I'm rung them, but couldn't get passed the automatic phone system. Will they get back to me fairly soon re: my request for a new appointment? I bet they don't.

Here's an oddity.

My mate Chris went on a weekend to Cologne recently. While he was there, he come across this particularly weird looking building. They must make ice cream in there, surely?? Still, it all goes to show that Germans really do have a good sense of humour.

**Stress**

Argh. I've had a bit of a nightmare.

I spent Monday and Tuesday writing a lecture, one that I have to give tomorrow (Thursday). Went back to it a little earlier to print out some handouts, and guess what? File corrupted. Huh?? Cut to scene of technicians running around, threatening to pull the hard drive out of my office PC.

Thankfully - and I mean very thankfully - I e-mailed it to the module manager yesterday and he dutifully put it up on the network for the students to read/print out beforehand. So it still exists!! :-)

I've been e-mailed a copy (an hour ago). All I have to do is pray that it eventually shows up.

Crisis over - I think.

Bloody GPs (and their receptionists)

Lately, I've been feeling really tired. Well, for the last few months. Plus, I've been waking up in the middle of the night, unbelivably thirsty. Considering my family history (well, Dad), I've had this nagging doubt for months that I have or will soon be getting diabetes. Finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors - I have a tendency to dislike GPs for their smug, general all-round rudeness! - and had a blood test. (Once I got into the place, and past the extremely formidable receptionist. The fact that I had changed address and that paperwork was needed did not exactly endear me to her). But all clear. Thing is, the bloody surgery made me ring for the details and I couldn't hear what my glucose level actually *was* - even though I patiently explained I was deaf/hard-of-hearing, I was once again treated like an idiot. I love these people. Grr....

Still, no diabetes for James. That's good. I must simply not be drinking enough water, mind you. Time to break out the Lemon cordial again. :-)

Research Proposal

I've just had a great idea for a research proposal - making it much easier to get funding and hence, a new job. I've just contacted the Department of Work and Pensions. They've got back to me almost immediately, informing me of the 20 day wait for a proper reply. Yay. Government. All I can think of is that there is somebody out there with a crazy pile of e-mails to respond to, most of them complaints and insults (not mine, I hasten to add).

Plus, gave another lecture today. Non-compulsory turnout: LOW. :-)

Time for a think?

Fact is, the most important thing for my career right now is to finish my paper and send it off to the Journal of Speech, Language, and Hearing Research (some good reasons for choosing that one) for a ritual handbagging. Thing is, I refuse to tinker with it unless I get a good two hours free to lavish on it and it alone. Yes, two hours. 180mins of uninterupted thinking time. When did that last happen? I think it was three weeks ago. *sigh* (EDIT: Julian pointed out 2hrs is 120mins. Quite right too!)

Heh, I'm even getting undergraduates getting up and walking out of their tutored workshop - walking *past* the two postgraduates on duty - and then climbing two flights of stairs to knock on my door for help. Great for the ego - don't get me wrong - but I'll never escape "Teaching Assistant" and become a Lecturer at this rate.

Dr. James Jackson, Teaching Assistant. Sounds a bit rubbish, eh? lol. Professor The Lord Jackson sounds much, much better. I'll have to get working on my charitable good deeds!

And that paper. :-(

Murphy's Laws

1. If anything can go wrong, it will.

2. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.

3. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.

4. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

5. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

6. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

7. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

8. Mother nature is a bitch.


O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Laws
Murphy was an optimist.

Ack!

More marking? It never ends, does it? Alas, this is the worse possible type to mark. Exellent, concise answers? Good to mark. Large blanks spaces and early exits from the exam? Good to mark. Long meandering answers that are utterly confused and show total lack of understanding? Not good to mark. And you should see the handwriting...

Heh - nah, it's not that bad. A look in the paper today shows that I'm living in the "world's greatest country". Yay! According to Anholt Nation Brands: "Brand UK continues to rank high because its scores are so consistently good in most categories and in most countries. Other countries get better scores here and there, but the UK hardly gets a low score from anyone."

William Shakespeare, David Beckham (?!), Stonehenge, Stiff Upper Lip, it's all there. Not so sure of the stiff upper lip these days, but I did watch the film of "The Battle of Britain" the other day. Lots of 40s derring-do, a fair few "Tally Ho Red Leader!" quotes, and all the rest of it. We may have changed since then, but no-one's noticed yet. :-)